IT’S TIME
It’s time. I’m going full-time indie. I can’t believe how excited I am.
If that’s all you care about, stop reading here! The rest of this post is going to be my more in depth thought process and back story.
BACK STORY
I’ve been working towards this moment since October of 2010, when I first started teaching myself how to program. I had lived my life up until that point not sure of what I really wanted to do.
I started college majoring in jazz piano, but quickly realized that the gigging musician’s lifestyle wasn’t for me. I realized that teaching was a good way for me to combine my love of music with a more stable career. Plus, I could positively influence the lives of children and pass on my love of music to them!
Since August of 2009, I’ve been a public school music teacher. I’ve taught all age groups, from Kindergarten to 12th grade. I’ve been very lucky to be a teacher in such a great district, with such great staff and students. This past year I’ve been solely a K-5 teacher and it’s been one of the most enjoyable years of teaching I’ve had since I started. There’s something amazing about seeing children grasp onto music and get excited about it.
However, I’ve never felt completely settled in my career. I’ve enjoyed aspects of it, and disliked aspects of it, like any job, but I’ve rarely felt a strong passion for it. When I started learning to program and make my own games, I realized how much I had been missing from a passion standpoint. I’d never before felt so happy with what I was doing, and excited for what was to come. I’d never been so obsessed with finding out a way to make something my career. Once I started I couldn’t stop, and here I am today.
The success of Polymer and especially Pivvot, combined with my wife Dana finishing grad school and getting a full time job, has finally opened up my career options to going full-time indie. I’m so amazingly incredibly excited I can barely stand it. Sometimes I find myself just smiling and giggling for no reason except for the fact that I can finally go full-time into a job that I not only love, but am extremely passionate about.
ON MOTIVATION
Now, I want to mention something about going indie that I’m sure some of you already-indie people are thinking: I’m well aware that there are downsides. I’m not under the assumption that once I go indie, life will suddenly be easy, without consequences or difficulties, and that I’ll be happy all the time. I’ve read numerous blog posts, viewpoints and articles, as well as talked to a number of other indie developers who say that going full-time indie can at times be extremely difficult, demotivating, lonely, stressful, and even depressing.
I’m a generally happy person, but one of the biggest challenges in my life has been staying motivated. I’ve often had trouble motivating myself to do tasks, even if I love them. I’ve run into many problems (none extremely serious, luckily) caused by procrastinating until the last minute. I frequently use video gaming as an escape from reality. I often have a strong desire to “Turn on, tune in, drop out,” except with video games instead of LSD.
Video games are my drug. They have always been an escape for me, and I’ve always been passionate about them. I’m so utterly thrilled that I will now be able to go into a career in which I will be creating them, but I need to go into this whole endeavor with the mindset that I will continuously check myself for motivational issues. I need to be vigilant. I need try my best not to fall into the do-nothing-and-play-games-all-day behavior for an extended period of time. This type of behavior—combined with binge-eating and struggling to exercising—has negatively affected my life at many points in the past.
While there are certainly things to be cautious about, the simple fact that I’m aware of these possible issues ahead of time gives me confidence that I can be successful. Plus, I have an awesomely supportive community to help me out—both locally in Chicago and globally on Twitter—if I ever find myself spiraling into laziness. Even more importantly, my wife Dana has been and continues to be the most inspiring and supportive person throughout my entire growth as a game developer.
DANA
And speaking of Dana, I know it’s cliché, but I honestly couldn’t have done this without her. She has been there for me from the very beginning. She has given me continuous and important game design feedback from an outsider’s perspective (since she’s still relatively new to gaming.) She has been absolutely critical in developing my personal brand and deciding how to market—and even name—my games. She has been there to encourage me to stay in the premium games market (what I’m truly passionate about) even when I was feeling pressure from all the F2P successes and the “premium is dead” attitudes. And most of all, she has just always been there to keep me grounded, sane, happy and motivated. I love you babe!
A DREAM COME TRUE
When I was a kid, I never would have imagined that this would be possible. I was obsessed with gaming. I spent many many hours playing games every day. But I always thought it was a hobby. I always thought it would be something I’d have to give up when I was older, and that thought always made me really sad. Well, today, I’m proving that thought wrong, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been because of it.